Im A Fake

Its late at night and Im not even alone,
But I cant get you off my mind
The past, so far ago,
Pain and misery burned in my eyes
As it does tonight
But no one knows
And Im holding onto the feeling of you
Because you saw it in my eyes
Before I even knew what to do
I could love you and I hate that its true
I dont want you, not even close
Im a terrible person to let this feeling grow
She's like no other,
True and better than us both
I will stop this, I have to, I must
When will I learn theres no one I can fully trust?
Until then I will keep dreaming and hoping
Until one day the flutter of pain will be soaking
All around me to look before

Victorias Secret

Do you expect me to believe you when you tell me you love me?
Its so hard to think when your trying to hug me
Is it a cover up for all the things you've done ever?
Does it blow your head off when I say "I guess, whatever"?
I didn't really mean it
You know the things that I've done
It only hurt you
And thats not so much fun
Well Im sorry for all of it
I really, really am
I hope you'll forgive me,
Please give me your hand
A goodnight kiss, thats all I want to give you
Its just so hard when Im not there with you

8 years to start

You gave me that fake smile today
Pretty and skinny,
Perfect in your own way
But honey, why is it that everytime I look at you,
I only see pain locked away?
The great ones never see it in themselves
Critical and in disbelief
Even if they hear good from someone else
Im without you and I feel like I have nowhere left to turn
Im alone in this boat
Without the automatic feeling to yearn
But Im getting better,
And soon I wont be on the recieving end of this mess
That'll be your place to confess
Im not holding onto you anymore
Stand on your own two feet and find the cure

Alexandria

I need to write this
Because its bleeding inside me
You hurt me so bad
It hurts terribly
I trusted you
When warned not to
I let the fact that I care too much
Get in the way yet again
You dont give a damn about me
You never have
All you needed was someone
To cry on and make sad
Well you've fullfilled your desire
Its done and your glad
You have no respect or feelings
You say you love but you dont know the meaning
And even then
Your words are emptier than your reasons
In the end your all that matters to you
And you cry yourself to sleep
Rather than think things through
Im not perfect,
But neither are you
Step back and look at the things you do
The pain you cause
The rules you break
The lies you smear
The people you give heartache
Above everything
I hate that I still care about you
Crying
Hurting
And watching the things you do
Your heart beats on the inside
But for now it is being abused
And lied to
Most like the things the outside of you
Chooses to do

Skinny chicks get all the pretty boys

Walk past him
His knees get weak
Stair him in the eyes
He's under a spell
Let two months go by
Walk past him
His stomach is sick
Stair him in the eyes
He'll turn his head
This is the chain reaction that happens
Every time you bat those dark brown eyes - yet again
You've put new meaning to the phrase "chew you up and spit you out"
Everyday you find a freshman
Wondering about
Each one more naive than the last
Why do you give him hope,
And then put him in the past?
One day, you'll find a smart one
Who wont want you back
Early on he'll see through you
Like I have

Lies

How is it that you get away with what you do?
Im so gullable,
Its pathetic to tell the truth
Dont get me wrong - Im a strong spirit
But Im broken when it comes to you
You get what you want
My opinion doesn't matter until you say it does
Im free to taunt
And in every friendship Im in a rush
But honey I think its time to grow a back bone
Living without your lies and excuses is worth being alone
Dont worry I'll find someone new,
And make sure they're nothing like you

Cant be put into words

For the first time in your eyes Im restless
Purely excited and tempted
This feeling is unfamiliar and strange
Im sick, shaky, and in pain
This wont last - it never does
At 2:34 in the morning,
I dont see myself getting the sleep I need anytime soon
I cant write for shit and I'll have a fit
Im tired of writing
My feelings are empty

The Crosspath Of Pain And Sorrow

Its almost a week now
And no response
I guess thats ok
Sinse we've been here more than once
And I cant say that I didn't see it coming
More than ever, I think I should give up
Im tired of running
From stop to stop
I will admit
Im a little selfish
But I feel that sinse I met you
I've only held your hand
Its clear that you dont want my help
And I'll never understand

Anorexic

Your time has been 168hrs
Your weak, but you think your gaining power
You try to keep it a secret
But everybody knows
Not at first,
But their knowledge will grow
You wont be good enough
Even at death
So get help
And try to beat this
Its not in my experience
So I can only imagine its hard
Im using what I know
To heal your scars
I realized it was coming close to this,
So I stopped before it could finish
Cleaning the wound
But still feeling the illness
Yes this will take time for you and me
So long as we keep trying,
Someday we'll be free

Waiting

Im so lonely
Your not here
Darkness ensares the light
Birthing a shadow
That warm smile is nowhere near
Remembering your smell,
And the stories you tell
I look to the phone and wait for your call
Nothing, no nothing at all
Sitting in the blistering silence,
I want your arms around me
The loss of my innocence
And the way she left you bleeding
We wont last, you and I
Breathing in the blood, I could cry
Waiting
I wont get used to this
Counting the lies
Yet needing your kiss

Someday

For those who've wept
For those who've cried
For those who've slept
Both day and night
It hurts,
And yet you smile at the same time
We walk
We hold our secret thoughts
Deep in our bones
So we dont get caught
We fall,
Barely breaching our demise
For those who lie
For those who bruise
For those who use
Unfaithful eyes
You'll die
Keeping it all inside
We'll break
You cause so much pain
And I want it too
In the end we're only being used
This day
When will we face our mistakes?

Fight the reason

Intentions are good in peices
Put them together,
They're only reasons
To fall down this empty heart
I'll never have a fresh start
Because I haven't even begun
To try this battle one
So painful and disgusting
Emotionless and untrusting
I feel like its never-ending
And Im running in circles
I dont even try because I wait for tomorrow
My times running out and Im filling up with fear
This has got to stop
It has to end here
I need you,
Im ready to face this,
Only with your help and strength will I beat it
Forgive me for my past grievance

Beautiful Disaster

Your an addiction
Your a fantasy
Your the most beautiful disaster thats ever happened to me
Dangerous and offensive,
Around you Im defenseless
Im trying to avoid this,
Because your the beginning of my death sentence
Damn curiousity
Damn lust
Damn the fact that Im the one you cant trust
We believe we're safe in our head,
But really the main event
Is sitting all alone
Wondering where to go
After meeting you,
I do that more than usual
The descision is painful
It'll break the addiction but I cant ensure the fantasy
Because through all this
Your still the most beautiful disaster to ever happen to me

Return a sin

Im wide awake
Feeling a bit insane
But this time theres nothing I can do but pray
All you see
Is yourself and your pain
You've been decieved,
But not by me
You say "accept me for who I am"
But you would not return the favor
You dont care about me
That much is obvious
You dont know the truth
Yet you claim to follow it
Your opinionated and open-minded
Yet you dont give it a chance
Even though your under a life-threatening trance
Fine then
Have it your way
Live your life the way you think
Even though it is not safe
Im done trying to help you
Im done letting you make me feel this way
I've realized your only adam pt 2
And you let me hit my face

Bi a sin

I breathe to try to take it in
Sitting alone again in the dark
You broke the code and now your a sin
And he knows how to trust in a broken heart
His type will always be a work of art
You've given me doubt,
And reason to cry
Waiting for the day I wont be alone
Your so easy to be asked to die
Sweet and sound like the best lullaby
But not worth the blood you've put on my side
Storms mean pain and intensity
Storms mean beauty and grace
If ever I fell,
Would you let me hit my face?
Until then I'll wait
Until then I'll pray

Truth

You stair and blink your eyes again
I just keep going
"Please can we not do this?"
Thats what you say as you lift your head,
Away from those shoes,
Dangling from your bed
I nod in dissapointment
Is this how its always gunna be?
And I've been questioned,
Through all this drama
To ones I've lied on your behalf
I thought one day it would stop
At least I've learned not to believe your trash
But we have untied some knots
We are not perfect
Even though you pretend to be
And we've got our quirks
So until we're fully there,
Through each other we'll see

Benjamin

Open the curtains
Let the warmth of the sun bring me back to reality
Sweetie your a dream,
Not a fatality
For a second you had me,
For a second you have us all
Lost in butterfly kisses,
I'll touch your fall
But I'll never hold it up to the sky
Neither will on your account I cry
You never let me down,
I never fell apart
Your no masterpeice
Neither a bliss of the stars
Rather a quiet murmer in my heart,
Soon to be forgotten

I've learned my best writing comes when i hate you

You...
Love me
Hate me
Lie to me
Betray me
Filthy
Desperate
Ugly
Elegant
Bleed through your eyes
You dont know how to cry
Emotionless
Selfish
No pity
Just anguish
Open my heart
Lock the door
Im left without
With the time to shout
All about
The pain you've caused,
Without a cause
Let this go
Sooner or later you'll show
Who you really are
And they'll all know

Eyes Wide Shut

Listen to the noises and cry
I dont have his favor, Im so scared to die
I know what Im doing, Im not gunna lie
I've been careless with these hands
Ignoring the fact that one day they will bleed
Help is in my demand
Why wont you help me?
Im falling
Im breaking my own legs and crawling to the outside
Im falling down
Im only waiting for you to open up my eyes
This fear, and confusion
Its consuming
Its always tomorrow to try
Im running in circles
With beaded glass eyes
I've put myself in this hole
Watch me loose my mind
Sick and alone, wanting someone to hold
Im only a joke
But as for this, no one is to know
When Im drowning in my own tears,
You've got a smirk
Dear God,
When will I learn?
I must pick myself up before its too late
Should I not, I'll only fear my fate

Cry Innocence

All I want is you
All I need is you
I'll never move on
Cuz your all I can do
Stop
Rewind
Replay
These words run through your head
Over and over again
You think this is what I believe of you
Funny thing is, its simply not true
Honey, you dont deserve an explanation
Sweetie, I owe you nothing
When you look at me, there is temptation
As I look at you, I see something
Anger,
Longing,
Jealousy,
Joy
Just by looking at me this is what you get
But, My dear, I am not your toy
And to me, you are not a threat

Random Poet

Im not interested in the clothes you wear
You dont see that this heart cares
They dont know that Im pretending
But your life is worth defending
I came to you as a crush, as a fool
Your breaking this heart, your ignorance is the tool
Believe it when you see my empty eyes
Because only hours ago, they did such a thing as cry
Tears fall like blood from a wound
My soft pink cheeks they consume
Warmth drifts away
The cold leaves you in a haze
I dont mean to be condescending
I only fear that your life is ending
Please tell me that you see me here
End it and come back my dear
Look at me from the side
And watch me cry
Im not interested in the length of your hair
You stripped my strength and left me bare